Move On......

  "Be careful what you wish for...cause you just might get it all.............and then some you don't want!!"

Almost all of us sometimes think about the good times we have spent in the past…..those best days of our lives which we wanna live again and again, and will still never get enough of it. Surely we want to get back in time and live those moments again....If you don’t find anything interesting in your past to remember it by,…..start creating them right now. Life is full of good bad times, create some and experience the exhilaration of this roller coaster ride called life.

Anyway, we all have some good old memories we cherish. It could be of the high school, where all the things happen for the first time.…Bunking class just to chat, movies with friends and most importantly, first crush. Or it could be of the college, where all these same things happened again, but in full extreme. Bunking every alternate class, going to movies according to TOI rating and crushes one after another….. For me School was all about “How to”. All my energy was focused on how to get good marks in exams, how to make my parents proud, how to create trouble for my teachers and what excuse i should make to escape from admonishment of  papa with the help of mummy… After getting into the college, I made a conscious effort to stop indulging into any kind of cerebral exercise and now it all becomes about "How not to". All of my energy was focusing on…..how not to flunk the exams, how not to get caught when I lie to my parents and.....how to save time to play Counter Strike!!

I do not have any doubt that my best time was college. While in college, I wished to get over with it soon and start with my professional life. In starting Professional life was like i am in Heaven as i was at Coimbatore for ILP. I don't remember any day when i remembered my college days. It was memorable time of my life with persons from different places, different culture at a different place and then i come to know this is best time of my life, better than college life.  Now when I too have joined the rat race and became a Naukri-wala…. I think about the time I have spent in college and ILP. I miss knocking myself out in the middle of the week not worrying about tomorrow, chatting till three at night and staying half asleep in the class... and many things like that which are now long gone.........Office seems to be full of pot-bellied bald guys, wearing black leather formal shoes with formal dresses, having espresso every hour just to keep their eyes wide open and saving themselves from falling asleep on their systems, which if would break. If you want to see how the world would look like if apocalypse would ever happen and everybody turns into a zombie…my office gives you the best picture….and for that matter any office…..One more thing which terribly sucks is to tell people that I am no longer a student. People expect a lot of money from you which you do not really have as they know that you are working in a big corporate, they expect a big bribe.

All of that was in the past and has left some really great memories. Could be school, college, ILP or happy moments with someone special or any other times, but we all have some pleasant memories of our past. It’s sometime good to take little time out of our busy lives and think about it. This will definitely bring a smile on your face.  But, life is all about moving on and creating lot more beautiful memories like these which we would cherish in future.

Move On...!!
Be Happy always and enjoy each moment because KAL HO NA HO.....!! :)

Undefined Relationship.....

There are relationships that you don’t know exists yet they provide you shade in the scorching heat of noon of life. They are not necessarily tagged as a friend, brother, blood relation or any thing for that matter. You have a perception; and that carries the relationship, no matter how many fences you cultivate to keep it in a fixed dimension. It does not know any limits, it just keeps rolling and growing till it is so prominent that you feel a little scared about imagining life without it because you are grown so use to living with it.

 It is just the same feeling when a tree allows a creeper plant to grow near its roots. It grows along with the tree like a true friend sharing the sunshine, the air and water and be there with it in times of joy sorrow and indifference. It makes the tree feel that it is not standing tall alone in the wind. The creeper is always there to protect it and cover it up and so the tree does not feel vulnerable.

 And gradually the tree thinks creeper is creeping and overgrowing it. He doesn’t even get to know that it has become such an integral part of  his life that he would be a lame duck without it.

 And then tree thinks he is suffocated and all his share of sunshine and the nourishment is just absorbed by the creeper. The tree is just so helpless and thinks that he is going to die.

The leaves go pale, the branches are limp and not holding firm. He starts to hate the creeper.

Then tree thinks that the deciding point has come when either he has to just give up and wait for its organs to decay or he can fight. And he fights. forgetting the fact that he is fighting the same soul that he chose as a friend and the one who has done so many things for him.

With time the creeper is gone, it cant live forever.

And then tree covered with the decaying creeper branches realises it. Leaves left soggy and rotten. It reminds the tree of days when they use to be green together. The pink petals of creeper flowers mixing with the yellow flowers of tree use to look like a rainbow.

With the heat the creeper dead remains just dries from the bark of the tree just like the skin peeled off from the black cobra's body every season. Then he feels how secluded he is and craves for the time to travel back.

And the tree stands alone with the memories of the creeper fighting the scorching heat. It now regrets the time when he thought the creeper was snatching his share of nourishment. How foolish he was. That was because creeper wanted to cover him so nice and dense that nothing can harm the tree.Why did he argue with the creeper? 

Alas! the creeper is gone and the tree just lost in the guilt.

Waiting for the one chance to say sorry to his creeper friend.

The nice people whom you meet and they really care are those creepers which never let you know that how much they love you that they want you to stay safe and nice at the expense of themselves. And you are just like that selfish tree who later laments that why didn’t he appreciate them in the right moment of time. If you are one amongst them then come join me. Even I am one of those stupid creature who never paid any attention to my creepers.

Beyond Pain.....

Sometimes we just want to cry out loud… but we can’t as we are surrounded by people who “may think we are weak”… and some other times our tears too leave our eyes alone... dry and empty and sad… dying to say something but awaiting for an ounce of understanding from even a stranger… tired of pretending and deceiving…
We all are grown enough to think for our self… at least we think so… we just need people in our life to listen to us without judging… without opining… without hating us for what we did but still loving us and helping us to understand what we “actually did”… someone who “understands us”… a “friend”… someone who will read our eyes when we are trying to show that we are all right, confident and strong but we are so hurt inside…
Desires are there in every one of us… for some it’s when we want to be better than our companion at work & career or friend circle or beauty or talent or bikes or popularity or girlfriend/boyfriend or anything… some other times we want the person we deeply love to look at us and attend us and love us at least a little if not as much as we do … some other times we want our parents and elders who we really respect and adore to understand us.. to permit us to do our will ... to appreciate what we are good at… and so many things…
Why every time we feel so small… even if we have achieved many good things in life… why every time we want to be and have “more than them”. Why jealous? Why fake? Why lying? Why cheating? Why so dissatisfied? Why now we don’t have a single spare minute each day to thank God for what He made us and gave us? Why we can’t understand how better we are than so many other people who live only cuz they “can’t afford to die” (may be cause no money or too many responsibilities).
Life can be so much better and pleasant if we stop “expecting”… and just do our “karma” with dedication…
But that sounds so “unreal” and “impossible”…
It surely is not… though too close to being called so…
We can’t stop lying & faking as that is the demand of our society. No one will accept an “Honest Loser” na! But we can at least make sure we love honestly… and lie harmlessly… and pretend without losing the knowledge of who we actually are and being proud of it…
May be just like sometimes we need someone …
To smile and hug us…
To wipe our tears…
To tap our back on our success…
To party around with us…
We can also do it for someone…

I am LUCKY that i have such good friends :)

We , The People.....

Terror struck, helpless and sailing through an endless existential crisis, is the very identity of every single Indian today… In a space of just 10 minutes, something from somewhere, like a big bang, without any warning signal, can cause mayhem to your otherwise smooth life and you have no choice but to let it happen to you once, twice, thrice…you lose count of how many times…

In spite of having crucial evidence at hand as early as February, western intelligence warning, a threat assessment of the same organization following same methods each time, on same dates, not even a single warning was issued, not even disaster management was geared up for…Intelligence failure they call it, making us the sitting ducks, only a few days after our PM dared to declare publicly that he’s no duck...

It has become a repeat telecast drama for terror organizations it seems…They enjoy watching it with a different twist each time…

Just "Yet again" as headline in bold is sufficient for a national newspaper to report to the whole world, (including those watching fashion shows), what exactly happened…Mumbai has become verified blast capital of India…over time and losses…

 It’s as good as anarchy and we are as good as insects…we elect a few among us to govern and to qualify to become parasites, to live on hospitality of ours and to suck the very soul of national pride…let alone the patriotic chauvinism, but even the trivial sense of security…

Get-Goings....

 

 

 

 

I don’t mean the title literally…I’m extremely pissed off and sad and drowned deep into emotions/nostalgia… It’s only my “be-positive” dreamy self who has typed in those words…

They say you do not have your control on anything…Its all written…They also say Life Goes On…Move On...and that Reflections have no significance, they’re just shadows...
But I really doubt whether people who say such things actually ever confronted such situations as farewell, did they ever stored something as sweet as moments in their programmed memory chips… do they even realize that there are some people who make your so-called-pre-written fate and tough times easy going for you, who make you cherish the innocent laughter followed by those stupid jokes cracked on unbearable sarcasms of your life, who don’t even care to take your opinion on their oh-so-honest!!! attempts to make you smile even if it results in pissing you off even more…Do they know that after your life goes on without them and you move on, those reflections can haunt you and those shadows can cast darkness when you’ll start running towards mirage of success and achievements all alone…

I give a second thought to all the nonsense I’ve written above and feel extremely stupid and CHILDISH… Of course you need to move on…You can have a fun-filled adventurous journey only when you know more roads and meet more people and that’s only when you explore more…That’s what everyone should do…That’s what I do…

Rock Ahead Guys!!! 

and don't think so much :P

Smiles :) 

P.S: All that “They-say” is what I always counsel people who fall sick to nostalgia….eyuk!!!...But all that “I-really-doubt” is what I’m feeling somehow, since last two days…

Best days of life.... :)

This one's for all of them who will never go back to school again . . .

Sitting in my room and staring at the picture of my school group photo at the wall in front of me , I was actually looking at the wonderful collection of memories of those years. Those ordinary moments that I had spent in those 12 years...the moments which now seem so special ! Clg days were special but school days have always been more special to me than clg days.

The years spent in my school were clearly the most treasured ones. All those years we had been wanting to grow up and now that we finally have, we wish if we were small toddlers going to that school again....Each and every smallest function or event is vividly embedded in my memory.

Those jokes... regardless of how silly they were which I know now, seemed so funny at that time. Those little arguments with friends....now seem so sweet. Every punishment is now bearable and every scolding now rings like a song ! I know some of my classmates, who even weeks after passing out of school, would just wait and wander around the school or simply
stand and look at the school building. I do that too when I go back to my city where I lived , where I studied . We still ask each other of the simplest of excuses to go back there again.

I miss my teachers who tortured a lot :P....the juniors and even the classrooms where we once had the most enjoyable times. I miss the morning assembly and that 2pm bell which announced our 'freedom' from school....only now, I would exchange that freedom for anything, to be back in that same classroom :(

I miss those fun-filled recess times and those painful exams. I miss those last night studies and those after-exam "aaah's" and "oh no's". I miss those competitions in the school where each had to outdo his or her best friend. I miss those Sports days and those Annual days. I  miss so much of that everything which was my life for those 12 years, which I had to let go in so short a time.

Those 12 years seem so short now like a dream that just blinked out! I can see myself and my friends making every attempt to keep some share of those priceless memories and we still do that on Facebook or Orkut. I remember a friend of mine uploading a school picture on Facebook some months back and almost whole of our class was commenting on that picture.

That was sweet. One picture brought the whole class together :)

Memories....Scrapbooks....Diaries....Photographs and what not !

And the farewell ceremony....Oh how tearful it was ! And then someone had said,"Hey, do you realise that this is the last function of our school life ?" Everybody turned to him...glaring, as if to say, "Yeah, we knew that! But thanks for reminding that piercing truth. Huh! :X"

Why can't life be like my DVD player? You can just 'rewind' from here !"

For me, those years are priceless. I can just not forget those days.
In the words of Bryan Adams, "Those were the best days of my life . . . "

And although I wish that all our lives are happy and enjoyable . One thing is for sure : Life was never the same again . Life will never be that good again . Never !

Miss those days so much :(

But cherish those years, those memories :)

Till Death do us apart...

 I have never been in any relationship whatsoever, or to put it in a better way, no girl has found me good enough to be in a relationship, however, their are a few things in life which are better enjoyed from a ring side view. It may be a  fight between two people, a wrestling match or a guy proposing a girl. Yes you heard me right, it is always enthralling to watch a guy propose a girl with "true love", big promises and the heart breaks that follow when the promises are not met or when the people don't want the promises to be met. I have come across some of the cases during my not so long lifetime of 22 years. So lets chronicle them.

Case-I:

Day of Proposal-
"I Love You", the boy says, slowly steadily yet nervously.....
"Yippeee, You idiot, you took so much time to say this, I Love You too ,duffer", The girl replies and hugs the guy tightly.
"Thank you, I ll love you for ages to come, not even death can torn us apart", the boy says and hugs her back even more tightly.....

A month later.....


"You know you are a jerk", the girl says it aloud to him
"I know", the boy says with overflowing sarcasm
"I can't stay with a possessive fool like you"
"Not that i want to continue with a bi**h like you"

The ages and reincarnation which the boy spoke of, lasted only for a month. This kind of love can be associated with high school where love has a fickle existence.

CASE-II


The day of proposal


"I.....I....I just wanted to tell you that....I... I....love you", the boy says putting in all his heart and overcoming nervousness
"Ok, I was kinda expecting it, but do you think we will click?", the girl says with a expression of corporate czar about to sign a big business deal.
"We will give it our best shot, I just wanna stay with you, I am unable to think beyond you, I ll flunk in my exams if you say a no now", the boys says switching to desperate measures to save the deal.
"Alright, I think I like you as well, we can give it a shot", she says with an authoritative tone only comparable to the US president signing on a go ahead for a nuke deal.

One year later.......


"You don't love me anymore,all the time you speak only of Java, can't you speak love, like you used to?", the girl says with wet eyes
"Oh dear, I am so sorry, this work is getting on my nerves, but I ll surely spend more time with you hence forth", the boy says, knowing very well, how tough it would be and trying to sound as convincing as possible.

One more year later........


"I can't stay with you any more, You are not making my life easy by calling up everyday while I am at work", the boy says in a "no option left" tone.
"But you said you can't think beyond me and would not be able to stay without me" she says in a tone which will even persuade god to weep
"And you said, lets see if we click, which as I see it, we don't, so lets end it before I hurt you any further"

The case is of a college couple who are unable to continue the affair like they did in college due to the added responsibilities of life. Its not a case of fickle existence of love, but its a case of giving precedence to life than love.

CASE-III


"I hate you, I hate you" she said in a tone which only girls can describe......
 "I am sorry dear, but you know that college can be so demanding", he said, trying every possible way to convince her.
"aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" She gave out a loud screech
"Ohhh c'mon you never shout like that,what happened, Hello, Hello, Aarti you there? Hello?"


"Now that was unreasonable, she hanged up on me? and she switched her phone off? she has never done this, Only god can convince her now" Sunny thought .

Little did he know, that it was not unreasonable, it was rather unfathomable. While talking to sunny, Aarti met with an accident which left her  paralyzed. Her world became immobile and his world, was shattered to the last possible piece.

Seeing Aarti Makwana at Summers job in 2006, Sunny pawar had fallen in love with her. Things were all rosy for him as Aarti too, reciprocated the love. He never promised to love her till eternity or reincarnations, all he wanted was to love her as long as he could. One terrible day in December 2007 Aarti met with an accident which left her paralyzed on the right side . Sunny could not bring himself to continue with his education, although he never considered himself to be a true lover, he could not see someone he loved lying on bed waiting for help. He took a sabbatical from his education and started tending to Aarti along with her mother. Crying occasionally when Aarti could not recognize who he was or when Aarti was in pain, all she could do was make incomprehensible noises, he kept up his spirit and love, Spending almost 12 hours a day at her home, feeding her, singing for her and making her sleep. His effort of 2.5 years started to reap benefits. Aarti had gained 15 kgs since her accident, which was a good sign. Doctors had declared that for them to remove the clot causing the paralysis, Aarti has to start responding to commands. To everyone's surprise, she started doing so pretty soon. Seeing all this, Sunny  joined back his college to complete his education. But as they say, fate always has the last laugh,just when things started looking good, Aarti was diagnosed with pneumonia resulting in high fever, she died within 2 days of being diagnosed in June 2010 due to her already fragile condition.


When people proclaim their love for ages to come, I don't doubt their intentions, but its all about will, how many of them are willing to love for ages to come? True love is not about words, but actions and Sunny sets the example of true love. I did not write this blog to comment on his gestures, because his gestures speak for themselves, I wrote this blog for people to know the extent love can reach. And when i say love, it would include everyone you ever loved, your family, your girlfriend, your pet. He never proclaimed to stay with her till death does them apart, but it was ultimately death which had to set them apart. If this is not love, then there is no love. For many, Life is all about love, but for him , his love was his life. My condolences for Aarti and my tribute to Sunny's true love.

                                                    Love Lives on.........


PS- This story was covered by Mumbai mirror in december 2007 and june 2010(on Aarti's death). Following is the coverage by a news channel prior to Aarti's death.