Do You....??

Do you wish you could share a beautiful view with someone special ? Do you sing loudly in the shower ? Do you stare at the sunset , or a cascade of rain? Do you sigh when you see happy endings in movies ? Do you tip-toe to the refrigerator at one in the night and eat ice-cream straight from the bowl ? Do you hum along when you hear an old song you love ? Do you keep a special person's picture in your wallet ? Do you love talking with somebody late into the night ? Do you blow kisses to people across a room ? Do you dance like no one is watching ? Do you adore rain drops on your skin ? Do you feel bliss laying down in a sleepy-drunk state after a tiring day's work ? Do you get goosebumps when you are about to see your result ? Do you light up when friends turn up to give you surprises ? Do you tease your friends ? Do you remember your favourite poem by heart ? Do you feel nice when someone thanks you ? Do you return a smile a stranger passes you ? Do you smile when you sometimes hear birds chirping in the wee hours of morning ? Do you like holding hands while crossing roads ? Do you like to feel the wind in your face ? Do you put your head in your mother's lap so she would ruffle your hair ? Do you feel awe when you see cloud formations in the sky ? Do you shout your lungs out on a roller-coaster ride ? Do you laugh along when you see a baby laughing ? Do you dig Tom and Jerry ? Do you give a hug all you've got ? Do you appreciate the small things in life ? Do you feel excited when you plan for a trip ? Do you still remember your first award ?

Do you relate yourself with all while reading it..? 

Life's small happinesses? 


Do you ??  :-)

Beautiful People Do Not just Happen....!!

In life many a times we all do feel low… Sometimes it’s just the circumstances which make us feel this way and at times… the situations. But what matters is… how these situations and circumstances mould us as a person.

It was one of those days when everything seemed wrong to me. I questioned my self about why was all that happening to me… Did I do something wrong to anyone…then why me??… Relations seemed confusing… people became different… some were for real so stayed rest just changed their ways.

                              

One after the other days passed by… and I experienced - difference…

From being the chirpy little boy… I started staying quiet. Every time something or the other kept occupying my mind. Long back then I was a kid who used to bounce all over the place… but now even to talk to strangers made me uncomfortable…It was all too complex… The feeling that am changing was hard to believe.

In no span of time I realized I have changed… and have become a completely different person. Till here I didn't know was it for good or for bad…is this going to help me or make my situation even worse… Everything changed except the faith I had in myself and my schooling. It may sound a thought from an old school but the fact is they taught me to respect the other individual… respect emotions… understand the other person as an individual like you… The ones around me have success but not the humanity that I do.  I realized… this is what is missing in this world today but I have it in me. The thought in itself is so beautiful!!!

Before, I used question those situations and times but today I thank them. It was a testing phase which was really harsh and as well as complex. But what I learnt out of those difficult times was… a lot of patience …every time there is a more complex situation… more patient I became… I trusted myself…

It takes a lot time and patience to nurture that kind of beauty. The other beauty can be maintained through creams and lotions but the heart or the soul that one has makes all the difference. All the hard times and the experience out there is what make one beautiful! its difficult to find or have the heart which deep inside knows it all, has seen it all but still doesn't know how to hurt any one but to forgive and keep going.

More than the destination it’s the journey that matters! After all beautiful people do no just happen…!!

The Feeling of being an Indian...!!

It never occurred to me, that I would be writing about this amazing feeling of being an Indian, but today scrolling past the array of posts on facebook, I came across this video which once again brought out the Indian in me and urged me to write about this feeling which I've lived with. At once everything flashed across my mind as the tune of the national anthem went on, like a short movie. All the school function patriotic songs which I fondly watched, all the republic day parades I watched, all the times I got goosebumps listening to the nation anthem with a full orchestra or watching the tricolour unfurl, everything just collected up and look, here I am, the next moment, writing about it.

 It might seem awkward to some of you of I being so sappy about the country. Never could I really find a reason behind this, but that's the way I've always been!! You might ask me, each one of us is patriotic. Every Indian felt proud with the Commonwealth Games that we managed to pull off. We still feel ecstatic when we win any single cricket match. We lauded when India became World champions in cricket. I feel my country is the best, every Indian does feel the same. Why this show off?

But What set apart my feeling for my nation are the small little feelings that I experience. The sense of belief with which we celebrate our festivals like Diwali always reminds me of an amazing country I live in. The big fat Indian wedding, where lots of "izzat ka sawaal" after effects are visible in the form of decorative elephants, the multi-tier ceremonies and lots of sweets, makes me feel uniquely Indian. The way we feed our guests, like they haven't eaten since ages, and do anything to host them well..  amazing!! 

The literally electrifying feeling I get whenever I hear a patriotic song makes me feel amazingly excited..!!

Whenever I travel in the Metro..a sense of pride fills me up..and that happens every single time I enter any metro station..!! The monuments.. the traditions.. the culture..India is not a country, its a lifestyle to aspire for!

But still, there's one factor that makes me repeatedly fall in love with my country.

I read once abut a couple from Finland in News Paper on Independence day. Both dressed in Indian traditional attire. What they said about India , i felt to hug my whole country, all at once!

they said, 

"This country has given us a lot. Something which we haven't asked for - The feeling of being calm, the way to find ourselves, that feeling of love which we could have hardly imagined there. There's a sense of being “us” in each one of you - irrespective of the way you are, irrespective of what your means are. We have found ways to be happy. Connecting with your Gods, your wisdom never falls short. In a world of our own, we actually found a world which we can call our own. And that is why we fell so much in love with India. We came here as tourists, but JUST could not go back! “

I never forget their words. And today, this video on facebook, again reminded me of their words, about India.  A Complete Country…!!

Be Wat U r.....!!

Sometimes, when life shows you its darker face, and problems seep in, your mind turns all chaotic and an unrest starts to build up. Nothing seems peaceful. It feels like you are a particle who's out of balance as everyone on the life-wave seems to be doing fine.

Life then feels like a mirror, which instead of showing your image, displays an empty, drained-out version of you. As this unrest affects your behavior , your mind wants to run out of the chaos and tries to find solutions. But then comes the stupid destiny when your own chosen solutions don't work out - AT ALL. Using pretence as a defense mechanism - pretending that everything's fine - works well for your mind but further increases the storm inside you.

You know now an escape is what you need, but it's hard to figure out the path that leads you out.Slowly, you start giving up, not knowing what to do, where to go, letting depression be your constant companion.

Probably earlier, nobody would have realized the importance of faith but at such point of time, the path of faith lights itself up. Odd enough, when you walk ahead on this path, you don't know where you're heading to, there's just a belief that you'll be taken to your destination.

All you need to do is walk blindfolded, holding time's hand as it always runs,  and believing that everything is happening for a reason. Culture this belief in you, that when the sunlight is unbearable, its just a prequel to a beautiful rain that will wash away your tolerance. All that will be left then would be your inside - in balance with the outside.

The path is indeed difficult, and some might say, impractical. But remember, when after the heat, the droplets would fall down, you wouldn't stop yourself from saying, "This, was worth the wait."  Or “This is what I say – Real success" but at that time only you can feel real happiness or you enjoy you life with its true meaning.

U Always Look Great When U Are Yourself....!!

My Dreams.....

Even when my eyes are wide open, there's this world I have - the world of my dreams - that slowly appears and begins to take control of me. It all starts like a small glint of sparkle, and within no time, I see my dreams dancing in my eyes like erupting flames of fire. A thousand worlds with their own gateways and their own stories appear, and the next moment I see myself in places I never knew could exist.
And when I'm THERE, I ride on the winds of blue sky, enclosing the reddish sun with open arms. Somehow, my inner being sparkles like a reflection of the happy mood of this world so unimaginable.

My dreams hold no doubts, neither do they possess any expectations from me - unlike this world where every step I take is doubted and questioned. They belong with me, completely. I carry them, running like an innocent child, and they - like a kite in my control - follow me, flying with all their magnificence. And often, when I desire, I fly along with them, in those open spaces, unrestricted, unbounded.
I own my dreams more like they're a part of me.. And why not? I've been nurturing them ever since I was a little kid. As the time has flown, My dreams have grown too. From the childhood wonderland to empire of ecstasy and hope, they've come a long way.

They know my heart felt desire to grow old and wise, and find MY purpose of life, but at the same time, always keep reminding me of the childlike joyful world which initiated them. You might want to term all this as running away from the obvious or being insanely optimistic, but I wouldn't call my dreams a refuge from reality. But yes, when I am with them, there's NOTHING else that matters more for me.

PS : After writing it, even i am thinking what i have written... :P

Happiness...The way it is!!

Life, as they say, is a castle of building blocks. You put it piece by piece to carve out the best shape and a sweeping wind all of a sudden destroys it all.. There is end of your life, and you leave this world as you came, "EMPTY HANDED"..

It leaves us with a question, What are we doing about it? Should we just throw up our hands in despair and lament about the fact that all we have is going to be left behind? 

Let's just change the perspective and look it this way,

When in the end, all will be left, lets collect something which we don't have to carry, let's collect which is serene, lets collect what we are going to spread as we leave, lets collect HAPPINESS!!

This is,just exactly the answer of the next obvious question..where do we find happiness? It does not come from getting a dream job that pays you million dollars. Neither does it come from living in a 20-storey mansion where you need a mercedes not only to travel outside,but inside too. Its all a matter of collecting the right moments, savoring the right memories, relishing the right company. When was the last time you became happy with no fear in mind? 

• When you fed a poor hungry street kid, and felt the peace and satisfaction watching him eat, did you feel happy that time?
• When all of a sudden, a friend with whom you hadn't talked to for years, called you up. His voice, his stories, did that make you happy?
• When your friend was sad, sitting alone and you judged the situation without asking, hugged him and said, "It will be all right buddy!!" and then he smiled. That must be something that made you feel happy too.
• Sitting with your loved one, you watched a romantic movie,and after it ended, SHE/HE said to you, "I LOVE YOU DEAR!!" Did you feel happy then?
• When you spent the best of the hours with people you love, and remembered those moments later at night, I bet it brought happiness on your face.
• When after all the toil, you presented your first salary check to your dad, did that glint of pride in his eyes bring happiness to you?
• Being with a baby, playing with him, watching him smile, feeling his little hands and feet, and watching him sleep, you felt a smile on your face too?
• Being in nature's lap,on a mountain, in a green field,or at a beach, feeling the breeze, watching the people pass by,watching the morning sun and closing your eyes. you definitely felt that happiness.
• When in the middle of the night, and your snoring sounds, somebody woke you up, turned on the lights and screamed. "SURPRIZE!!!" You must have got irritated then but it did bring a smile on your face later, didn't it?
• That moment when you lived the way you wanted to, screamed, laughed at something which only you and your friend knew about, joked meaninglessly..teased your loved ones..beahaved like mad people, danced so carelessly that it looked obscene, sang like the worst singers and felt proud of it, your most embarassing moment, your moment of victory, the moment you got caught something you were not suppossed to do, oh and the list is endless. Doesn't remembering all this makes you happy? not even a little bit?

That is what happiness is all about. Live your life so that there's never a dull moment. Every second, every minute is yours. Go on, find people who care for you and live your life the way you want. Live for others, live for yourself!! Just Live your life.. Coz we live once and only ONCE. Rest becomes history!!

Life is Good.. :)

I was just that thinking that how many emotions & feelings do we get in a day...& for how many of them do we care.Well, a laymen will say that since we have got a heart or in a learned man's language since we have a brain which has a part that controls emotions we will keep on getting these emotions..All right!...Agreed over that fact...but I was more amused over the fact that do we really need to care about all those emotions...
                                We meet so many people....we do so many activities in a day...we have many good & bad moments in a day...all of them leave an impression on us in some or other way...& many of those impressions sometimes take us down many times that we start taking no care of all those moments that we could have enjoyed....& in the end all we are left with is just "a sad day"...
                              But here is one thing that I noticed....which no one cares to notice in that period of waves & tides.....that we get hurt by only those feelings which are in some way or other related to people about whom we care....people we love...people by whom you want to get loved...So, feeling good for the thought that there are people about whom we care...people who care for us never seems so bad.....At least we are blessed with God's care that he has given us some people in our life who are attached to us with an invisible string...that keeps us binded to this world....

And in the end...life is after all just a journey...a journey which all travelers can travel only once...no matter how rich or powerful they are....So why not enjoy all the stops coming in between our journeys...after all every stations has its own importance...& enjoy the MOMENTS OF LIFE....:) 

after all Friends makes " A Life " to " The Life ".

A Friend.....!!

we all received a treasure..
And it came in the form of a friend..
and thats you...
Initially it was a treasure unnoticed and unvalued,
Until the time that showed me that even the diamonds lose there value with time if not treasured and secured....

Those were the times i realized that unknowingly i depended on you for every small bit i did...
For every small mishap i made..
For every grudge i had..
For every bit of my life...

And now you are so important to me..
and i want to thank you for whatever memories we created..
Whenever i see you i am reminded of myself....

TOGETHER we have done so much,
SEEN so much,
FELT so much,
WITH a knowing smile,
I look back at the shared times
AND all the things that only you and i know,
NOW i know that even ma low voice haunts you to find the reason that makes me unhappy,
EVEN my Facebook status makes you call me and ask the reason for it,
ALL THESE GESTURE OF YOURS REALLY MAKE MY LIFE SPECIAL....

I look ahead 2 the future when you would no more be here...
I look ahead 2 the times when our career and personal life would make things difficult...
I look ahead 2 the times when keeping in touch would mean calling business associates..
I look ahead 2 d times when the cobwebs of life would make us forget each others birthdays..
BUT STILL WITH GREAT HOPES N EXPECTATIONS
I STILL look ahead 2 the times and things tat only you and i will share..
The IGNORANT gestures that only we will feel....

YOU not only put a SMILE on ma face..
BUT you put a SMILE in ma HEART..

Move On......

  "Be careful what you wish for...cause you just might get it all.............and then some you don't want!!"

Almost all of us sometimes think about the good times we have spent in the past…..those best days of our lives which we wanna live again and again, and will still never get enough of it. Surely we want to get back in time and live those moments again....If you don’t find anything interesting in your past to remember it by,…..start creating them right now. Life is full of good bad times, create some and experience the exhilaration of this roller coaster ride called life.

Anyway, we all have some good old memories we cherish. It could be of the high school, where all the things happen for the first time.…Bunking class just to chat, movies with friends and most importantly, first crush. Or it could be of the college, where all these same things happened again, but in full extreme. Bunking every alternate class, going to movies according to TOI rating and crushes one after another….. For me School was all about “How to”. All my energy was focused on how to get good marks in exams, how to make my parents proud, how to create trouble for my teachers and what excuse i should make to escape from admonishment of  papa with the help of mummy… After getting into the college, I made a conscious effort to stop indulging into any kind of cerebral exercise and now it all becomes about "How not to". All of my energy was focusing on…..how not to flunk the exams, how not to get caught when I lie to my parents and.....how to save time to play Counter Strike!!

I do not have any doubt that my best time was college. While in college, I wished to get over with it soon and start with my professional life. In starting Professional life was like i am in Heaven as i was at Coimbatore for ILP. I don't remember any day when i remembered my college days. It was memorable time of my life with persons from different places, different culture at a different place and then i come to know this is best time of my life, better than college life.  Now when I too have joined the rat race and became a Naukri-wala…. I think about the time I have spent in college and ILP. I miss knocking myself out in the middle of the week not worrying about tomorrow, chatting till three at night and staying half asleep in the class... and many things like that which are now long gone.........Office seems to be full of pot-bellied bald guys, wearing black leather formal shoes with formal dresses, having espresso every hour just to keep their eyes wide open and saving themselves from falling asleep on their systems, which if would break. If you want to see how the world would look like if apocalypse would ever happen and everybody turns into a zombie…my office gives you the best picture….and for that matter any office…..One more thing which terribly sucks is to tell people that I am no longer a student. People expect a lot of money from you which you do not really have as they know that you are working in a big corporate, they expect a big bribe.

All of that was in the past and has left some really great memories. Could be school, college, ILP or happy moments with someone special or any other times, but we all have some pleasant memories of our past. It’s sometime good to take little time out of our busy lives and think about it. This will definitely bring a smile on your face.  But, life is all about moving on and creating lot more beautiful memories like these which we would cherish in future.

Move On...!!
Be Happy always and enjoy each moment because KAL HO NA HO.....!! :)

Undefined Relationship.....

There are relationships that you don’t know exists yet they provide you shade in the scorching heat of noon of life. They are not necessarily tagged as a friend, brother, blood relation or any thing for that matter. You have a perception; and that carries the relationship, no matter how many fences you cultivate to keep it in a fixed dimension. It does not know any limits, it just keeps rolling and growing till it is so prominent that you feel a little scared about imagining life without it because you are grown so use to living with it.

 It is just the same feeling when a tree allows a creeper plant to grow near its roots. It grows along with the tree like a true friend sharing the sunshine, the air and water and be there with it in times of joy sorrow and indifference. It makes the tree feel that it is not standing tall alone in the wind. The creeper is always there to protect it and cover it up and so the tree does not feel vulnerable.

 And gradually the tree thinks creeper is creeping and overgrowing it. He doesn’t even get to know that it has become such an integral part of  his life that he would be a lame duck without it.

 And then tree thinks he is suffocated and all his share of sunshine and the nourishment is just absorbed by the creeper. The tree is just so helpless and thinks that he is going to die.

The leaves go pale, the branches are limp and not holding firm. He starts to hate the creeper.

Then tree thinks that the deciding point has come when either he has to just give up and wait for its organs to decay or he can fight. And he fights. forgetting the fact that he is fighting the same soul that he chose as a friend and the one who has done so many things for him.

With time the creeper is gone, it cant live forever.

And then tree covered with the decaying creeper branches realises it. Leaves left soggy and rotten. It reminds the tree of days when they use to be green together. The pink petals of creeper flowers mixing with the yellow flowers of tree use to look like a rainbow.

With the heat the creeper dead remains just dries from the bark of the tree just like the skin peeled off from the black cobra's body every season. Then he feels how secluded he is and craves for the time to travel back.

And the tree stands alone with the memories of the creeper fighting the scorching heat. It now regrets the time when he thought the creeper was snatching his share of nourishment. How foolish he was. That was because creeper wanted to cover him so nice and dense that nothing can harm the tree.Why did he argue with the creeper? 

Alas! the creeper is gone and the tree just lost in the guilt.

Waiting for the one chance to say sorry to his creeper friend.

The nice people whom you meet and they really care are those creepers which never let you know that how much they love you that they want you to stay safe and nice at the expense of themselves. And you are just like that selfish tree who later laments that why didn’t he appreciate them in the right moment of time. If you are one amongst them then come join me. Even I am one of those stupid creature who never paid any attention to my creepers.

Beyond Pain.....

Sometimes we just want to cry out loud… but we can’t as we are surrounded by people who “may think we are weak”… and some other times our tears too leave our eyes alone... dry and empty and sad… dying to say something but awaiting for an ounce of understanding from even a stranger… tired of pretending and deceiving…
We all are grown enough to think for our self… at least we think so… we just need people in our life to listen to us without judging… without opining… without hating us for what we did but still loving us and helping us to understand what we “actually did”… someone who “understands us”… a “friend”… someone who will read our eyes when we are trying to show that we are all right, confident and strong but we are so hurt inside…
Desires are there in every one of us… for some it’s when we want to be better than our companion at work & career or friend circle or beauty or talent or bikes or popularity or girlfriend/boyfriend or anything… some other times we want the person we deeply love to look at us and attend us and love us at least a little if not as much as we do … some other times we want our parents and elders who we really respect and adore to understand us.. to permit us to do our will ... to appreciate what we are good at… and so many things…
Why every time we feel so small… even if we have achieved many good things in life… why every time we want to be and have “more than them”. Why jealous? Why fake? Why lying? Why cheating? Why so dissatisfied? Why now we don’t have a single spare minute each day to thank God for what He made us and gave us? Why we can’t understand how better we are than so many other people who live only cuz they “can’t afford to die” (may be cause no money or too many responsibilities).
Life can be so much better and pleasant if we stop “expecting”… and just do our “karma” with dedication…
But that sounds so “unreal” and “impossible”…
It surely is not… though too close to being called so…
We can’t stop lying & faking as that is the demand of our society. No one will accept an “Honest Loser” na! But we can at least make sure we love honestly… and lie harmlessly… and pretend without losing the knowledge of who we actually are and being proud of it…
May be just like sometimes we need someone …
To smile and hug us…
To wipe our tears…
To tap our back on our success…
To party around with us…
We can also do it for someone…

I am LUCKY that i have such good friends :)

We , The People.....

Terror struck, helpless and sailing through an endless existential crisis, is the very identity of every single Indian today… In a space of just 10 minutes, something from somewhere, like a big bang, without any warning signal, can cause mayhem to your otherwise smooth life and you have no choice but to let it happen to you once, twice, thrice…you lose count of how many times…

In spite of having crucial evidence at hand as early as February, western intelligence warning, a threat assessment of the same organization following same methods each time, on same dates, not even a single warning was issued, not even disaster management was geared up for…Intelligence failure they call it, making us the sitting ducks, only a few days after our PM dared to declare publicly that he’s no duck...

It has become a repeat telecast drama for terror organizations it seems…They enjoy watching it with a different twist each time…

Just "Yet again" as headline in bold is sufficient for a national newspaper to report to the whole world, (including those watching fashion shows), what exactly happened…Mumbai has become verified blast capital of India…over time and losses…

 It’s as good as anarchy and we are as good as insects…we elect a few among us to govern and to qualify to become parasites, to live on hospitality of ours and to suck the very soul of national pride…let alone the patriotic chauvinism, but even the trivial sense of security…

Get-Goings....

 

 

 

 

I don’t mean the title literally…I’m extremely pissed off and sad and drowned deep into emotions/nostalgia… It’s only my “be-positive” dreamy self who has typed in those words…

They say you do not have your control on anything…Its all written…They also say Life Goes On…Move On...and that Reflections have no significance, they’re just shadows...
But I really doubt whether people who say such things actually ever confronted such situations as farewell, did they ever stored something as sweet as moments in their programmed memory chips… do they even realize that there are some people who make your so-called-pre-written fate and tough times easy going for you, who make you cherish the innocent laughter followed by those stupid jokes cracked on unbearable sarcasms of your life, who don’t even care to take your opinion on their oh-so-honest!!! attempts to make you smile even if it results in pissing you off even more…Do they know that after your life goes on without them and you move on, those reflections can haunt you and those shadows can cast darkness when you’ll start running towards mirage of success and achievements all alone…

I give a second thought to all the nonsense I’ve written above and feel extremely stupid and CHILDISH… Of course you need to move on…You can have a fun-filled adventurous journey only when you know more roads and meet more people and that’s only when you explore more…That’s what everyone should do…That’s what I do…

Rock Ahead Guys!!! 

and don't think so much :P

Smiles :) 

P.S: All that “They-say” is what I always counsel people who fall sick to nostalgia….eyuk!!!...But all that “I-really-doubt” is what I’m feeling somehow, since last two days…

Best days of life.... :)

This one's for all of them who will never go back to school again . . .

Sitting in my room and staring at the picture of my school group photo at the wall in front of me , I was actually looking at the wonderful collection of memories of those years. Those ordinary moments that I had spent in those 12 years...the moments which now seem so special ! Clg days were special but school days have always been more special to me than clg days.

The years spent in my school were clearly the most treasured ones. All those years we had been wanting to grow up and now that we finally have, we wish if we were small toddlers going to that school again....Each and every smallest function or event is vividly embedded in my memory.

Those jokes... regardless of how silly they were which I know now, seemed so funny at that time. Those little arguments with friends....now seem so sweet. Every punishment is now bearable and every scolding now rings like a song ! I know some of my classmates, who even weeks after passing out of school, would just wait and wander around the school or simply
stand and look at the school building. I do that too when I go back to my city where I lived , where I studied . We still ask each other of the simplest of excuses to go back there again.

I miss my teachers who tortured a lot :P....the juniors and even the classrooms where we once had the most enjoyable times. I miss the morning assembly and that 2pm bell which announced our 'freedom' from school....only now, I would exchange that freedom for anything, to be back in that same classroom :(

I miss those fun-filled recess times and those painful exams. I miss those last night studies and those after-exam "aaah's" and "oh no's". I miss those competitions in the school where each had to outdo his or her best friend. I miss those Sports days and those Annual days. I  miss so much of that everything which was my life for those 12 years, which I had to let go in so short a time.

Those 12 years seem so short now like a dream that just blinked out! I can see myself and my friends making every attempt to keep some share of those priceless memories and we still do that on Facebook or Orkut. I remember a friend of mine uploading a school picture on Facebook some months back and almost whole of our class was commenting on that picture.

That was sweet. One picture brought the whole class together :)

Memories....Scrapbooks....Diaries....Photographs and what not !

And the farewell ceremony....Oh how tearful it was ! And then someone had said,"Hey, do you realise that this is the last function of our school life ?" Everybody turned to him...glaring, as if to say, "Yeah, we knew that! But thanks for reminding that piercing truth. Huh! :X"

Why can't life be like my DVD player? You can just 'rewind' from here !"

For me, those years are priceless. I can just not forget those days.
In the words of Bryan Adams, "Those were the best days of my life . . . "

And although I wish that all our lives are happy and enjoyable . One thing is for sure : Life was never the same again . Life will never be that good again . Never !

Miss those days so much :(

But cherish those years, those memories :)

Till Death do us apart...

 I have never been in any relationship whatsoever, or to put it in a better way, no girl has found me good enough to be in a relationship, however, their are a few things in life which are better enjoyed from a ring side view. It may be a  fight between two people, a wrestling match or a guy proposing a girl. Yes you heard me right, it is always enthralling to watch a guy propose a girl with "true love", big promises and the heart breaks that follow when the promises are not met or when the people don't want the promises to be met. I have come across some of the cases during my not so long lifetime of 22 years. So lets chronicle them.

Case-I:

Day of Proposal-
"I Love You", the boy says, slowly steadily yet nervously.....
"Yippeee, You idiot, you took so much time to say this, I Love You too ,duffer", The girl replies and hugs the guy tightly.
"Thank you, I ll love you for ages to come, not even death can torn us apart", the boy says and hugs her back even more tightly.....

A month later.....


"You know you are a jerk", the girl says it aloud to him
"I know", the boy says with overflowing sarcasm
"I can't stay with a possessive fool like you"
"Not that i want to continue with a bi**h like you"

The ages and reincarnation which the boy spoke of, lasted only for a month. This kind of love can be associated with high school where love has a fickle existence.

CASE-II


The day of proposal


"I.....I....I just wanted to tell you that....I... I....love you", the boy says putting in all his heart and overcoming nervousness
"Ok, I was kinda expecting it, but do you think we will click?", the girl says with a expression of corporate czar about to sign a big business deal.
"We will give it our best shot, I just wanna stay with you, I am unable to think beyond you, I ll flunk in my exams if you say a no now", the boys says switching to desperate measures to save the deal.
"Alright, I think I like you as well, we can give it a shot", she says with an authoritative tone only comparable to the US president signing on a go ahead for a nuke deal.

One year later.......


"You don't love me anymore,all the time you speak only of Java, can't you speak love, like you used to?", the girl says with wet eyes
"Oh dear, I am so sorry, this work is getting on my nerves, but I ll surely spend more time with you hence forth", the boy says, knowing very well, how tough it would be and trying to sound as convincing as possible.

One more year later........


"I can't stay with you any more, You are not making my life easy by calling up everyday while I am at work", the boy says in a "no option left" tone.
"But you said you can't think beyond me and would not be able to stay without me" she says in a tone which will even persuade god to weep
"And you said, lets see if we click, which as I see it, we don't, so lets end it before I hurt you any further"

The case is of a college couple who are unable to continue the affair like they did in college due to the added responsibilities of life. Its not a case of fickle existence of love, but its a case of giving precedence to life than love.

CASE-III


"I hate you, I hate you" she said in a tone which only girls can describe......
 "I am sorry dear, but you know that college can be so demanding", he said, trying every possible way to convince her.
"aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" She gave out a loud screech
"Ohhh c'mon you never shout like that,what happened, Hello, Hello, Aarti you there? Hello?"


"Now that was unreasonable, she hanged up on me? and she switched her phone off? she has never done this, Only god can convince her now" Sunny thought .

Little did he know, that it was not unreasonable, it was rather unfathomable. While talking to sunny, Aarti met with an accident which left her  paralyzed. Her world became immobile and his world, was shattered to the last possible piece.

Seeing Aarti Makwana at Summers job in 2006, Sunny pawar had fallen in love with her. Things were all rosy for him as Aarti too, reciprocated the love. He never promised to love her till eternity or reincarnations, all he wanted was to love her as long as he could. One terrible day in December 2007 Aarti met with an accident which left her paralyzed on the right side . Sunny could not bring himself to continue with his education, although he never considered himself to be a true lover, he could not see someone he loved lying on bed waiting for help. He took a sabbatical from his education and started tending to Aarti along with her mother. Crying occasionally when Aarti could not recognize who he was or when Aarti was in pain, all she could do was make incomprehensible noises, he kept up his spirit and love, Spending almost 12 hours a day at her home, feeding her, singing for her and making her sleep. His effort of 2.5 years started to reap benefits. Aarti had gained 15 kgs since her accident, which was a good sign. Doctors had declared that for them to remove the clot causing the paralysis, Aarti has to start responding to commands. To everyone's surprise, she started doing so pretty soon. Seeing all this, Sunny  joined back his college to complete his education. But as they say, fate always has the last laugh,just when things started looking good, Aarti was diagnosed with pneumonia resulting in high fever, she died within 2 days of being diagnosed in June 2010 due to her already fragile condition.


When people proclaim their love for ages to come, I don't doubt their intentions, but its all about will, how many of them are willing to love for ages to come? True love is not about words, but actions and Sunny sets the example of true love. I did not write this blog to comment on his gestures, because his gestures speak for themselves, I wrote this blog for people to know the extent love can reach. And when i say love, it would include everyone you ever loved, your family, your girlfriend, your pet. He never proclaimed to stay with her till death does them apart, but it was ultimately death which had to set them apart. If this is not love, then there is no love. For many, Life is all about love, but for him , his love was his life. My condolences for Aarti and my tribute to Sunny's true love.

                                                    Love Lives on.........


PS- This story was covered by Mumbai mirror in december 2007 and june 2010(on Aarti's death). Following is the coverage by a news channel prior to Aarti's death.

Untitled Feelings....

After few good articles i think u can have a faith on me to read this article which was the first time when i thought about writing...
it was 2 days after our farewell in night...
I am not changing anything in it...just posting it as i wrote that time

"So finally days are coming soon of being apart...
Last few days graffiti day and night out after farewell party were awesome in many ways...
On graffiti day first time got a feeling of unity in our class or what we all gonna
miss...but that night out showed a flash of future life far from the friends.

Farewell party was not more than a photo shoot for all where everyone was busy in clicking pic or giving pose with their best pals...and time went away in few hours...but that night out..one of the unforgettable day of my life..and the feeling of that day still a secret for me don't know
what was that....
Feeling of being apart with friends in few days or feeling of enjoy with friends...
Feeling of an unemployed man (though we were placed in N R ) or feeling of a jealous man with his employed friends....

In these mixed feeling, those paratha were also tasting good which we would not eat even a single bite in regular days...ate like a five star hotel food....
that mountain tracking at 4 'o'clock morning is enough to tell how much crazy we were that day...
now these all days are "were"...
and hoping for some good news in future days if mr. vinod kataria will not mind ;)"

 

 

 

Flowing Free....

That's definitely not another nonsense from myside... That's how it used to be...(life...of course!)...fast and free and innocent...knowing few obstacles (and those too, all insignificant ones)...merrily laying the foundation of a fortune having its ultimate existence, only in dreams...

But since, for all of us, a time comes, when we are bound to feel our unfortunate presence into the hateful world of REALITY and we become something called pragmatic, we begin to realize things,and jump into conclusions, and then, ultimately, we write blogs but here i cant write that also so writing in my mail and saving drafts...

Life... multi-fold and somewhat multitudinous as i know it, has always amazed me...and writing came as another thing that could amaze me with same measures...I mean...its fun...isn't it?...how you can get the satisfaction of saying it all, not even bothering once about the INTERPRETATION part...(let alone LOGIC'S...)
So...I's into the field of writing all these days...and loved it...those one-liners and the magical depths up to which I could dive with their meanings...and they worked wonders to make up my always unpredictable mood...whatever be the reason pissing me off...all about my freedom of thought and about writing anything and everything...let it be something as important as my take on our own NANDU or as dumb as an intended note which used to go on and on and on for ten pages full of nonsense about how I hated that GHODA DAL I had for lunch :P :P :P
and though it may sound weird, writing sometimes gave me the feeling of selflessness...it actually did...may be because its one (and only) thing which isn't impelled by the profit motive,may be because its something which rarely promises handsome returns and yet, is satisfying,refreshing and gives immense dividends of happiness :)  

Its as if...it comes as a compensation of being humane...
and once you are into writing, you simply cant fail to notice the same wonder, the same fun in the digital avatar...and you love it all the same...the magic...of expressing into words, the turbulent,free flows of life...

Its Raining....!!!

window seat, Bangalore’s evening weather (RAINS…), and END OF the DAY…

Bliss…

Absolutely perfect for restarting a long (very long indeed) forgotten passion…


So here I go…this time, not with my mobile which is my life these days.. but with a pen and a paper (A bit of pride atleast for me and loads of cheers :-) )…


It’s raining heavily now…drenching every leaf…Beautiful…:-)

I so much love rains…n I’ve had a lot of it (in fact, enough of it) here in Bangalore…It’s like, it rains almost every evening…jumbling my mind with ideas…Ideas, which have been cluttering my mind since ages, but could never exactly come out in full zoom as it hardly rains in Hindaun now a days. Except, of course, a few downpours in July or August…as if rains also need a reservation…lolz…


So the reason why all the good and bad ideas are confronting me now is simply that: it’s raining badly n excess of anything is dangerous…rite?


Anyways…the jumbled thoughts are related to two well known ideas about rains…spread by some saint(s). One is, it rains, coz its God’s way to shower his blessing on mankind…This, I’s told by my Adarsh school teachers when I’s really small. Later on, (when I grew up a bit and) I thought about it, I found it logical also, Gods Actually shower their blessings in the form of rains as our agriculture is still so much monsoon dependent…


But then, the latest understanding of rains, (which I really doubt should be given by some saint) says: It rains so that the miserable humankind can hide its tears amidst raindrops…n really, this one also sounds somewhat logical, may not be as good (rather feel good) as the first one, but still, understandable…

And then, as I’ve said, it rains daily in Bangalore…it seems like ages since I’m witnessing this phenomenon, of daily rains, making this city watery ,reducing the visibility like anything n making me utterly confused n wondering, whether I’ll look foolish, standing all alone in rains, joining my hands in prayer to receive the blessings of dear God???... And then, I prefer an act of self denial…


And so, I’m standing beside a window of ma room, all dry, while it’s still raining heavily outside, relishing only the cool breeze…and now I’m told, a CYCLONE is going to hit south India…as if rains were not enough to create confusionz…


10 Oct. 2010 Bangalore...

I, Me with Myself...

On a beautiful star studded night, I raised my face heavenwards and closed my eyes...quite,calm,cool winds which, kind of symbolize Bangalore's awesome weather were breezing through my face making me completely lost in myself... :)


And then, as is evident, as a kind of reflex action, I started thinking...about those 3 months of slumber, about my journey from Kota to Bangalore via Delhi...about the sudden discoveries of sooo many facts about the human-cosmos that they kind-of bombarded my small confused mind...about all good and bad things Banglore has taught me in past one month...I'm suddenly finding myself wary of what was behind me and what lay ahead...The sense of revival is exciting and yet so frightening...But bravo! its still inspiring belief...One month after this much awaited journey, I'm actually finding my spirits rising again from where they had been moribound for too long, may be because of too much of homesickness...and I again find myself searching for my niche here in this all-so-strange land...


With all these good thoughts, I opened my eyes, determined to keep aside all the hate I've developed for Bangalore n South India in past one month...believing that the question of belongingness( to north/south india) will soon fade away when I'll start believing in my own adroitness of believing in all beautiful things...to wherever they belong to...


18 Oct. 2010...an evening at bangalore...